ADVISORY NOTE: Content for ADULTS ONLY. Contains explicit references to sexual activity.
I understand the appeal of blindfolds in sex. The first time Simon blindfolded me, it was scintillating. By donning a blindfold you become vulnerable, you are placing more trust in your lover.
The blindfold took away a key sense – sight – thereby heightening other senses. Of course the most intense side of this was touch. I waited in anticipation wondering what Simon was going to do to me. The trailing of something I did not recognise down the front of my naked body was exhilarating. Whatever it was, if felt good. He knew I was enjoying it. He used it where he knew I especially liked to be touched, my nipples and the underneath of my breasts. I felt it stroking my pussy and my thighs. He teased my neck and my tummy.
Not knowing what he was using added to the experience. I still don’t know what he was using, only that it seemed textured like sponge but had a feel of somewhere between fabric and rubber. He kept it a secret what he was using against my skin. He changed the instrument he was using. I felt something very different, and he was being careful in where he used it. I am sensitive to pain. So he was slow and gentle. I think it was a pinwheel, but he never confirmed it to me.
He knew me well. He knew I don’t like pain. So he had discussed nipple clamps with me and explained what would happen. When he applied them, I barely knew they were there. It was of course when he removed them that the rush of blood felt like agony. The pain gave way to the sensation of his tongue lapping my labia and my clit until I was shaking with the intense pleasure.
I can say from my heart that a blindfold is a great aid to foreplay. What about masks?
Simon owned masks, which I could see where for erotic play. But he never introduced them to our intimate time together. It was with Ben that I donned a mask for the first time. The first time I was wearing a mask with lingerie. Ben has a thing for roleplay, which has also become a thing for me. That often involves costumes, for me especially. Think, naughty nurse, saucy secretary, dishy dancer, mischievous maid, hot housewife, kinky kitten for the most part. We have tried a some other ideas but we go back to our favourites more often than not. Most of those costumes don’t include a mask.
But a mask or costume, dressing up, is a great asset to allowing inner fantasies come to the surface. I find that when I put on a mask or costume, I am more conscious of putting on a performance. Without the mask we still have great sex but more within our natural rapport and relationship. When I put on a mask or costume, I also put on a persona. We can have a lot of fun with that. Sometimes the mask or costume requires me to take the lead, to be the dominant. I might command Ben or order him around (which is not what we do in real life and is not natural to me).
I prefer it the other way round, I prefer playing the subservient in roleplay. Ben is such a good man. Sometimes I like to allow him to be a bad boy in roleplay games. Sometimes donning the mask alone and being totally naked is my way of signalling to him, “Use me“. That may sound odd to some. It is just that I know Ben is caring and that he is always attentive to the way he treats me in every aspect of life. I am really into psychology and I can tell when Ben is anxious about our relationship. He becomes a bit more careful than usual. He is gentler, even more gentlemanlike than normal. Sometimes I want to let him know that everything is great between us, that trust is strong, that I don’t mind him relaxing. He does not need to be perfect all the time. He can be rough. He can be savage. He can use my body.
When Ben looks at my face and smile, he becomes soft and sweet and lovely. Sometimes, I want him to forget for a while that I am the woman who irons his shirts, cooks his meals, cleans his bathroom. I want him to forget that I am on good terms with his parents and his sister (I’m not on good terms with his brother though). I want him to forget I have seen him in a bad mood and complained when he used my favourite white blouse to wipe up the wine he had spilt. (Which I am supposed to have forgiven and forgotten – but I still don’t understand why he decided to grab something from the laundry basket instead of using cloths or tea towels from the kitchen.)
If I put a mask on and limit eye contact with him, I am saying, “look at my body, lust for me, crave me, devour me“. It is a green light for him to forget for a moment that we are partners in life, a supportive double act, a dynamic duo. There are times he can just use my body to satisfy his sex drive. I am ok with that. That wanton, greedy, wild side is ok within that safe context. It won’t cause me to lose any respect for the amazing man I look up to and respect. He can be a bad boy and forget the intricate emotional bond between us.
I don’t like that Ben’s work often takes him away from me. Usually that is for a short stint. He has to travel a lot for work. This year there has been less international travel for him, but as soon as his quarantine is over, he has to go away for a few days within the UK. I won’t be joining him because accommodation suitable for couples is only arranged when a project is for longer than two weeks. He and the other guys will be roughing it. I do not think separations are good for a relationship. I am going to qualify that statement, for two people with very active sex drives, separation is not a good idea.
I know that the media is going to thrust sex in front of Ben on a regular basis. I also know he is a very attractive man. I have seen other women check him out and try to flirt with him, but likewise Ben has seen the same happen with me. I don’t go too ninja when I see a woman has noticed Ben is hot. It’s not her fault. I just tactfully make my presence known, “Babe, would you like another beer?“
But when I am not there, I would like to believe that Ben has his own way to defuse a woman who is trying to flirt with him, in the same way I make it clear to men that I am not available. I want Ben to be sure that he can come to me with his most innate or absurd desires and lusts. I will reward him in every possible way for his loyalty and exclusivity to me by being anything and everything he wants. I don’t want him to be tempted to turn to someone else who tries to seduce him. I am ready to be let him be depraved when it consumes him. It is between him and I alone.
Which do I prefer – blindfolds or maks? I think I would say blindfolds. As the wearer of a blindfold, my senses are heightened. The thrill and anticipation are something I love. Masks I like too. They help me put on a persona for some fantasy roleplay that allows us to momentarily put aside the sacred strong bond of mutual respect and appreciation and to be naughty, to be wild. I think that’s especially important to let Ben have chance to take time off from being a superhero and letting him be raucous and lustful.