Ben said that he is sure “switching” has a meaning within a BDSM context and he has told me to check it. But I thought that I would just make it clear that whatever the BDSM significance of switching is, I have something else in mind. Something simpler. My thought was simply that I sometimes wish I had a switch, a sexy switch, that I could turn-on or turn-off when appropriate. Not having that switch has made things confusing at times.

There are times when I do switch off to thinking about sex naturally. During my period – I do not want to know about it! For a couple of days all men are complete jerks. I have zero interest in sex. If a man checks me out or touches me, I want to give him a black eye. But it passes. Ever since I was fourteen, that couple of days when my interest in men is turned-off passes and then the switch is flicked the other way. Men begin to grown on me again. They seem cuter than the week before, they make a better impression on me, building up to a point when I am aroused every time I look at a man, I am turned on by the most ridiculous thing and have to restrain myself from leaping on them in wild abandonment.

If I had a sexy switch that I could control I would decide to keep it turned-off at work. I don’t want to think about sex at work. It complicates things enormously. Work is work and it is so much easier if you don’t have a crush on your boss, or that new IT assistant whose trousers are way too tight outlining his pert buttock cheeks whenever he leans over my desk. It would make it easier if the marketing manager who everyone knows is a sleazebag had an off-switch so that he didn’t embarrass himself by flirting and dishing out innuendo to every thing in a skirt.

There are things that I find a turn-on and things I find a turn-off. A man who behaves like a gentleman in public is a turn-on. And it is because he dignifies and honours me in public that in private I am happy for him to abandon the gentleman-like ways and become a lustful beast. It’s the gentleman that wins the chance to be depraved and debauch me. On the other hand, a man who is rude, disrespectful, “laddish” in public and makes me feel small – he is an instant turn-off. The only thing he stirs within me is the desire to kick him in the googley-wotsits. When I am publicly humiliated the instant flick of the switch in me is dramatic. I would say nothing. I would just walk out. Sayonara bundt-head! You can go and shag a pumpkin for all I care.

Being a gentleman includes being sensitive. A man who shows he cares is a turn-on. A man who wants to communicate, wants to understand, is willing to resolve misunderstandings is a huge turn-on. When a man gives the impression they are concerned about your emotional welfare, I feel safer, more drawn to them, wanting to be wrapped up in their arms, happy to give in to their advances. Before Ben knew I was available, I sensed he was being a caring friend to me. He had established an open line of communication. He had never laid a finger on me, but he knew what was going on inside my heart. Men who can’t be bothered to take the time to understand a woman (and believe me I do know that at times women are incredibly hard to understand) and who dismisses them as nothing more than a pussy and a pair of tits are a complete turn-off. I would not allow myself to be alone with a man who seemed like he saw me as only a sexual object.

A man who makes you feel special, exciting, sexy is a turn-on. But when you excuse yourself to go and powder your nose and return to find him chatting up other women – definite turn-off. Within seconds your view of him changes from “charming” to “sleazy”. I think gentlemen ought to be aware that trying to juggle lots of lovely ladies can be fraught with the risk that those women are switched on to the reality, that they are just another piece of skirt and the charms and manners are just a con.

I turns out that there is a sexy switch hidden within. Sometimes there is little control over that switch – periods happen. Sometimes it would be easier if the switch remained turned-off in a work context, or when spending time with the marriage mates or partners of best friends. It’s best not to let that sexy switch be turned on because it is only going to lead to stress and bitter heartache.

But the rest of the time, it is often within the power of a man to flick that sexy switch one way or the other. Men can choose to be a turn-on or they can choose to be a turn-off.

Of course not all women are the same – which makes it a little more complicated than I have outlined. But this is my post on my blog and I have described what I have found a turn-on and a turn-off.

The world can know that for this sexy kitten,

It’s only by a gentleman she’s smitten.

Wicked Wednesday

20 replies on “Switching”

lol – I did check after Ben told me to and I saw that the BDSM switching is something entirely different! Still…having a sex switch – on/off – one we could control and the right man could control would be great hey!


I’m happy to hear you say that. Do you know why I chose the title of Gentleman for my blogger pen name? On the playful side of me, from the motivation of flirtation, but on the serious side, from a motivation of anger. I greatly disrespect men who take advantage of women, see them as toys for selfish gain, and especially treat them harshly and inhumanely for the sake of pleasure and sex. This may turn some women on, but bank on it, from a man’s perspective it is pure selfishness and domination with the absence of any kind of caring and love. When a man treats a woman right, as you know from Ben, I believe she can feel the difference. ❤

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And although you have your very sexylicious side, that is what makes you a gentleman, and your writing shows it. I am sure that many of us would feel much happier in the arms of a gentleman than a man who treated us as an object.

I am sure in the past I was guilty of misjudging “men” in general. I may have thought they were only after one thing. But as we grow and learn about life and people, we come to understand that life is more complicated than merry-go-round of testosterone and estrogen. Each individual has the potential for a universe within them, and understanding that as we start to care about the inside as much as the outside of someone, the mystique and allure of romance and sensuality will deepen.

Now Dave….have you seen my November’s FLIRTY FUN post. I know you are a very good blogger. So you are definitely on my list of bloggers that I am hoping to reward!

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I enjoyed reading this and I think we all have a kind of switch for things that turn us on or off, but it will be different for individuals. Although I have to say I agree with most of what you have written 🙂
~ Marie

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Thank you Marie ❤
I have learnt more than ever by reading the posts of other erotica bloggers that we are different in what we find a turn-on and a turn-off, so halfway through writing this I thought I hope it doesn't sound dogmatic. But I figure this is my viewpoint of what I personally find a turn-on or a turn-off. It will be interesting to read all the other posts on this subject to see where we are similar and where we may be different.


I worked with Ben at one stage. But there was a lot of tension between us. Well most of the tension was on my part really.

I just know that in the past work has become complicated when a guy indicated his romantic interest. I have found myself feeling very awkward at times – married men, men more twice my age, men who were my direct boss – it made work stressful. I remember years ago having a crush on a guy at work. If he had been interested I would have said yes to him. He flirted with me, but he gently dropped the hint that he was the kind of guy who liked to go out to clubs at the weekend and pick up a different girl each week. I am glad he let me know that because it helped me realize that I was not wanting a casual hookup like he would have been keen to have.

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