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Why Jenna Is In A Funk

I spoke to my boss on Sunday night and begged her for a day off today (Wednesday). I knew I would be too sad to work today. Ben had to leave last night for his next project – without me. He is now around four thousand miles away. I am kinda fed up about that.

As this is a long project, the plan originally was for me to go with him. However, over the past couple of weeks things have changed. The UK government have put more restrictions on travel. Ben is exempt from the restrictions due to the nature of his work. But he did take another test anyway for his own peace of mind and he was negative again.

We were advised that I would not be exempt from the travel restrictions and in addition they strongly discouraged Ben from pressing that I had to travel with him as he will be away for at least a month. Ben has said he will press the issue. It is in his contract that on projects over two weeks his SO can travel with him. But of course the pandemic is meaning he is under pressure to waive that. After a week of discussing it with me and hearing me resolutely say I cannot stay here without him for over a month, possibly six weeks, and debating it with his bosses, Ben has had to go out there to start work and leave the situation over my travel in the laps of the powers that be.

I am in a funk. The sad thing is before Ben left I was very sulky too. I wish I had been able to be happier. Now he is four thousand miles away and he is anxious about me.

Well I am having today off and I need to rest and get myself together. I was so miserable from the moment on Sunday morning when Ben told me he was going to have to get on that plane without me.

26 replies on “Why Jenna Is In A Funk”

Thanks Hugh. I am hoping it will work out. Ben needs to crack on with work over there, but he will keep speaking to his boss about this separation. After what happened last spring, Ben had already told his bosses that it was not acceptable for us to be apart for so long. But we will have to see. I feel a if there is a line somewhere between being reasonable and unreasonable that we will have to find and his bosses will have to find.

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Thank Jacob. I will look out for your comments. I love your blog – I think I have told you that already, but worth repeating. Keep taking part in the writing prompts. They are great fun and will give you lots of inspiration.

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Oh Jenna honey, huge hugs darlin’.
Look, think on this, Ben may be 4000 miles away but his heart is still at home with you. Physical distance is one thing, I agree, it’s hard to deal with especially since you were expecting to go with him but he loves the bones of you and his heart is truly there with you.
Unfortunately for you both, life has a habit of throwing a curve ball every now and then. Make the best of a bad situation and remember for as bad as you’re feeling, he is too and he’s thousands of miles away worrying about you and trying to work at the same time.
It’s just a covid restriction blip. Given the severity of the situation with the new variant strains coming through now, the least amount of travel you do the better, and you are limiting the risks of becoming ill by not travelling with him.
Stay safe and use today to wallow and feel sad, but tomorrow, you lift your head up young lady and get back in the game. You need to be strong both for you and for him. Make lemonade with the lemons, don’t suck on the lemon! Love you Miss Pink! ((((((HUGS))))))

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❤ Thank you for your lovely comment Gemma ❤

I keep trying to think of all the friends I have who live alone, and yet seem to keep their spirits up. I would love to be feel I can be strong. It's just that Ben is so good for me on every level. Without him, I do struggle Gemma, I kinda slowly deteriorate. I am going to keep in touch with all my friends keep busy with work and make some time for me, for doing things I seem to keep postponing. I really really need to crack on with editing the novellas. Everytime I read a passage I see more typos.
I will try to use the time to myself positively….xx

Lemonade??? I thought the fashion was to use lemons to make G&T…..xx

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Now that’s more like the Jenna I know and love, G & T indeed! Make it a double darling, you’ve earned it! I’m always at the end of an email if you want to dump your head somewhere, don’t feel alone sweetheart, you are not and never will be alone. We all have your back, you know that! ❤

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Hugs love. Take today to self-care. Read. Write. Wallow in white wine and bubbles. Put on one of Ben’s shirts and wrap yourself in its warmth. And do not beat yourself up with regards to how you reacted to the news. You had a set idea of what was going to happen and allowed yourself no wiggle room for ‘what if’s’ as well as the Pandemic playing a huge part in the ability to have you travel with him. Look at different ways to make your face time fun and sexy and non-worrisome. And if you want to have a cry go right ahead and have a cry. Let yourself feel all the feels because you know why? It is totally alright to do so. It is your life and your feelings. No one can tell you how to react to things. Sorry me and my runaway mouth (or fingers depending on how you look at it.) Do you today love that is all that matters. 🙂 Hugs.

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I was reading your comment and last night I found myself sniffing the pillows on Ben’ side of the bed. It is so nice to have his scent lingering. But I am gonna have to wash our bed linen at the weekend.
One thing I am gonna do while I am on my own is go vegan. I love veggies and it makes me feel healthy. Ben likes vegetarian and vegan food but he loves meat. I eat meat but I don’t enjoy it anymore. I think because his family love lamb (the Greeks have this thing about lamb I do not understand) and I start seeing these cute little baby lambs and I find it kinda weird that we eat them.
I love Ben so much Jay-lyn. I don’t feel right without him….and unfortunately, I recently watched Tom Hank’s Castaway recently, which put all sorts of crazy ideas in my head.

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❤ Just sent you a comment Gemma ❤
I did something kinda weird today. I was back at work, athough work is mostly working from home. But then I walked a whole hour and a half to get to the big supermarket which I knew would be the only place I could get some fancy ingredients for some recipes I want to try.
I was walking along the A-road in the dark because I only know the way by car!!! With two huge shopping bags over my shoulders.
See – I am already losing the plot without Ben!!!

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Umm… don’t do that again please? Order online and go for a normal walk woman! Don’t attribute everything to Ben being away, sometimes we just do daft things because we can! Just sayin… 😛 xxx

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I had no idea how far it would be to walk! In the car it seems to take a few minutes. But I guess it is a 60mph road.
Normally working from home is ok when I can look forward to Ben walking through the door each evening. I have started to develop a slight crush on the younger Kevin Mc…. from the back episodes of Grand Designs. There is something about him that reminds me a little of Simon.

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There is something about his friendly sarcasm – I used to see Simon doing that. He would drop a sarcastic edge into his conversations (Simon was capable of great cynicism) yet at the same time smile in his charming, enchanting way. Plus Simon was totally into engineering and construction. Sometimes, some of Kevin’s facial expressions are similar to Simons. Because I had a lot of very hot very wild sex with Simon. when I see Kevin Mc – I find myself remembering my promiscuous hedonist lover and it certainly makes Grand Designs a lot more interesting than I think it is supposed to be!

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