Physical Attraction

I was thinking about what I am most attracted to physically. Before I go any further, I will say I am much more attracted to non-physical features – intelligence, humour, kindness, humility and a way with words – they all make the biggest difference to me when it comes to being attracted to someone.

But do you ever notice that there is a particular physical feature that causes a physical response within you. For me, it is shoulders and the upper part of a chest. I love seeing well toned shoulders. Maybe it is because I am a swimmer that I notice shoulders (swimmers will understand that I think) but I love a man’s shoulder muscles.

I don’t know what excites me so much? Is it the latent strength within them? Am I turned on by the idea of running my fingers and hands over their shoulders? Is it the idea of them being able to pick me up and carry me to the bedroom? I think it is something to do with how during intercourse, which I love, I am often looking up at a pair of shoulders (giving away that I am often looking up during intercourse, but I like to be looking down during intercourse too).

Shoulders can be hot!

I know exactly the physical feature Ben appreciates the most!

Act, Po, Woman, Naked, Skin, Black

It is quite flattering to me that he loves to watch my touché! If I was going to be waiting for Ben in bed naked when he got home, I would do it stretched out on my front so that my derriere was on display. I know that is the biggest turn on for him.

I love dancing, and sometimes I will dance for Ben. I learnt so many routines from Beyoncé and Jay-Lo and as much as I love dancing to their songs, Ben likes to watch. There is a lot of wiggling my behind in those routines. Ben seems to enjoy it.

I also know what my ex-lovers liked most about my body and usually that was my breasts. I think many of us do hone in on a particular feature, which we find especially pushes our buttons. Well toned shoulders (not like a body builders, like a swimmer’s) do it for me. A perfect round behind does it for Ben. What about you? Is there a physical feature that stirs you inside and you find yourself reacting to?

22 replies on “Physical Attraction”

You write that you are attracted by non-physical traits most of all, but the fact is that you will find out all this later. And the first thing that you see and what you react to is just external attractiveness. This is how we are all arranged. First we see, then we think.


You are right Mary.

The funny thing is that with my Ben I did not notice his physical assets first. Partly because I was not interested in him to begin with (I had been on a couple of dates with his brother, so I felt awkward around Ben) and then I had a misunderstanding and a difficult scene with him at work. I felt bad because I was to blame for that. Then I met Simon. I was besotted with Simon and truly had eyes for nobody else. But Ben was becoming a good friend. So in the case of Ben, by the time I was single again, it really was all of Ben’s inner qualities that had made a deep impression on me….suddenly I began to notice he was also flippin’ gorgeous!! How had I never noticed that before?


Yes, perhaps this is a more complicated case than the first meeting of two strangers. And it’s all the more good that you had the opportunity to get to know Ben better before you started thinking of him as your partner.

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