Spring is a truly special time of year. It is so reviving. Harsh cold bitter weather, grey gloomy skies give way to sunshine, breezes, April showers, and pops of colour as green buds and leaves erupt and flowers of every shade of pink and purple begin to bloom.
But the truth is, despite the exquisite beauty and charm of spring, if you are gripped by loneliness or sadness, it is sometimes hard to enjoy the vibrant display of spring to the full. A heart that is cold can thaw slightly but it can be painful to walk around on a spring day when you are longing to be with one person who makes the skies blue and warms your heart even on the coldest day.
This is the third spring that Ben and I are together as a couple. It is also our third English spring together. We moved to England a few months after we got together because of the contract Ben was offered. (I have lived in England before, but it was a big deal for Ben to move here.) However, during the spring of 2020, we were separated by the Pandemic. Ben had gone overseas on a short assignment, which became a very long assignment. I was heartbroken to be without him.
During our first spring here, back in 2019, we had visited some beautiful parts of the UK together and done a lot of site-seeing and walking. For some reason, enjoying nature with the person you love most is one of the most magical experiences in life. I always felt tremendous happiness and peace walking along through woodland and down country tracks clutching Ben’s hand.
Our first spring in England was just wonderful. So, I felt cheated at losing Spring 2020, but there were bigger problems in the world! I had to get on with it and stop sulking. My friends were a great support at mastering the hardy stiff upper lip trait and being stoic about the challenges the Pandemic was bringing along.
How glad I am to have Ben with me now. He had to go overseas again for some weeks without me (because of the Pandemic) due to work, but he has been back since mid-March and I am so glad we can have this this spring together.
The way I hoped we would spend it is with lots of walking. Normally we love walking and exploring the countryside. But at the start of April, a new challenge came along, one that I have never faced before. Back pain. What a blow! I have felt like a little older lady these past few weeks hobbling around.
Ben has been amazing. Amazing!
We have ended up having to enjoy Spring 2021 mostly from our garden, which we had been putting a lot of effort into. I have tried to take a short walk each day local to where we live, but I am moving at the pace of a snail as every step is excruciating.
I think that at times the frustration of not being fully independent and feeling like the most pathetic creature on the planet have built up and I have had a few tearful moments. Ben has been so gallant about it. Ben’s boss was happy for him to work from home whenever possible, but he does have to go into his office some days and of course he has to make site visits. He thinks ahead of time, and if he has to go out, he will do little things that he knows will make a big difference to me, like lifting a pan out of the drawer and leaving it on the stove for me. He has been so helpful and so encouraging.
My appreciation for Ben deepens with every day, every week, every month and every year. This Spring, I have not been able to do the things I would have loved to with Ben – but yet it has been a special time for me, a time during which Ben revealed himself to be even more wonderful than I realized before.
Spring is a spectacular time for revealing beauty….this Spring, I have seen the most beautiful qualities a man can possess in my lover – Ben.