Normally I am equal to any challenge, nobody intimidates me at work. I can be confident and eloquent, command attention and respect. Rarely am I lost for words or lacking in coherency of thought.
Yet this one little task I set for myself was for some reason so difficult! I have never been so nervous and awkward. I mumbled and stammered through a dozen recordings. My mind was a total blank and even when I read a little for you, I found myself mispronouncing simple words.
My pulse was racing, my palms sweating, me voice became croaky after two hours of talking into a tiny microphone.
It was such a spur of the moment decision. One that if I had waited I would have decided against. But I took the plunge and I am glad I did. Now you know my voice. I like that you know my voice. It makes me feel closer to you.
There is something about taking a brave decision that imbues you with confidence. So here I am….feeling like a diva, laughing at myself, wondering why I was so shy! Planning for another occasion when I will share some of me with you.
It’s scary! But I admit, I wanted to share more of me with you. It seemed natural that I should. I just hope it did not shatter any illusions. It was a scary thing to do because I don’t want you to feel as if the reality is not as good as the fantasy. I just wanted you to have a little more of me, the real me…and to love the real me.