There have been times in my life when I was just mindlessly going through the motions – just floating along, allowing the current to take me wherever it willed.
Every time I have stopped and thought for myself and made a decision that was against the flow of the current, it is challenging. People want to know why. Normally I can explain why, in terms that indicate why I am convinced I am doing the right thing. However, some of the people I love have not liked my viewpoint.
My parents do not want to speak to me or Ben. That is hard. I feel helpless. Ben cannot understand their reaction to something I let slip back in March. One of my mom’s best friends lives in London. She tried to speak to my mom about the situation, and as a result, my mom has told her not to bother calling again.
I am not sure whether this about me making my own decisions, or perhaps it is not me at all. I think it may be a matter of their own strong feelings against a group of people who some mock and scorn, but I think are wonderful.
The reason I am hurt? They won’t reply to my voice and electronic messages. I have sent flowers. I have poured my heart out. But so far, they don’t want to know.
So I am just floating along, until they are willing to have a conversation with me. I don’t know what else to do.