Ben said something to me yesterday that helped me a lot. I have felt quite downhearted and Ben took some time out to help me talk through everything that has been on my mind, and as always he came up with some great suggestions to help me deal with this challenging time.
When I told him how fed up I am that I am missing out on so much, and how tired I am, truly exhausted, how gloomy I feel about every getting better etc….Ben talked to me about the power of the mind.
He came up with practical aids I can use to try to keep my thoughts from sinking down into an abyss of darkness. So, one of the ideas involves thinking about all of the things that make me smile, make me happy. He recommended trying to think of things I can enjoy now, even though I am ill, but also things that have added meaning and joy to my life in the past, and things I can daydream about being able to enjoy again in the future.
I liked all his ideas. We talked about lots of things yesterday. But until he leaves work (eight work days to go!) I am going to use his ideas to cope with this time on my own resting after my meecrowahvey treatments.
So….for today….one of the things that makes me smile A LOT…and that I can enjoy right now….is….
Ben’s chest is perfect. He is not too muscly. You know when a man has been working out so much that he is a lumpy and bumpy as a cobbled pavement, well, I find that all too much. Ben is well toned, less defined than an obsessive body builder, but nonetheless, he is in great shape.
His chest is wonderful. To me he represents such warmth and strength. Feeling his arms around me is of huge comfort and reassurance – especially now. I have been feeling so thoroughly pathetic, and being able to rely on Ben is so special to me. He is just….well he is as perfect as his chest is.