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The Greg Dilemma

Greg has been in touch more frequently of late. He is trying to convey that he is worried about me and very upset about me being ill. I guess it has got back to him through the grapevine. We do have a number of mutual acquaintances after all.

I just don’t find this display of concern from him very comforting. Where was the concern when I was having a breakdown years ago when we were together?

Perhaps I am being harsh. Only, he really stresses me out. He does. It’s because of the memory of how he let me down when I was in need of wise words and comforting reassurance in my mid twenties. I’ve grown up a lot since then. I don’t need someone who has been fickle to pop up and make out as if he cares deeply about me. It’s not a good time for him to be playing games with my emotions.

27 replies on “The Greg Dilemma”

Then ignore him, or just tell him to go away politely (You are most unlikely to tell him what I would tell him so we won’t go there) do not under any circumstances feel like you owe him any attention because he has suddenly exhibited signs of adult behaviour. Be harsh Jenna. With everything else you have going on right now, you do not need the fickle man from your past draining your emotions. xxx

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Can you share this post with him? And then block him? That would get the message across pretty strongly. (If not the link, you could always just say- I sent this to a friend and they suggested I send it to you instead)

You only deserve to have the best people in your world, and he doesn’t fit the bill. N xx

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Good morning Jenna! Weird what illness/injury will do to people that you have not heard from in years. Maybe he is just reaching out to be thoughtful and let you know he is worried. Maybe he is being manipulative I do not know. I do ‘know’ you though. Via your posts and how you portray yourself. You like people being happy and it is hard for you to be ‘mean’ as you see it in your eyes. A brief thank you note it was nice to reach out can easily stem any further advances from him. And given that you still hold resentment from when you were together and he was not there for you leads me to believe that he is not sorely missed. Boundaries. You got ’em. Use ’em. I am forever preaching about boundaries but as one who use to have none and would take on more and more and more to make everyone happy and to be needed all the time. Setting boundaries allow me to retain all the good sanity and chuck out all the bad. 🙂 Have a great day and I hope that your back is getting better. 🙂

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Thank you Jay-lyn.
I don’t know exactly what is motivating him, but even if it is genuine concern, I am just too exhausted right now to maintain contact with him. I think I am going to let Ben deal with it as Mel suggested.

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Indeed she is, if you don’t know what to say to him, either do as Jay said and thank him for his show of concern, let him know that Ben is looking after you beautifully and say it was kind of him to get in touch to enquire after your health. If he continues, hand it over to Ben and ask him to deal with it for you. I’m sure he would honey. Either way, this man should not have the power to mess with your head, especially now. Don’t let him have that power sweetheart. xxx

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If you want my advice honey, leave him to it. Don’t get involved, it’s something I’m sure Ben would be much happier to deal with on his own, man to man, so to speak. Sometimes women soften a response too much and leave an opening for more discourse, I would imagine Ben will leave no such open door. 🙂 xxx Just my advice. xxx

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Then trust that Ben’s opinion of him is soundly based in the facts of who Greg is. It doesn’t matter whether that opinion is low or vaulting through the rooftops, it’s Ben’s opinion and it shouldn’t be tempered to protect Greg’s feelings.
You my darling are such a kind hearted sweetheart of a girl you would do anything to avoid discord with anyone in life. Greg does not deserve such regard from you. Much love to you my gorgeous Miss Pink. Don’t let this situation worry you anymore. Just give it to Ben and trust him to handle it gracefully. He will. You know he will. xxx

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As I am learning with my ex boundaries is everything. He never gave two shits about me when we were together, left on a plane when I had covid and proceeded to blame me for his life’s failures, now he’s a different person all concerned how I am doing. They don’t deserve out energy or the space in our minds to be concerned about. If you choose not to confront him about why the sudden concern when he couldn’t spare it when you were together, then keep contact short and quick. If he knows he’s affecting you he’ll reach out more, don’t give him that. Not one molecule of your being. Sending hugs

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That would be good Ben can run interference and maybe that’ll set Him straight. Be good to yourself and feel better

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Sorry to hear that, Storm. My ex left me when I had COVID. He didn’t want to risk catching. I was left alone, really ill with my son to look after.

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I agree with Caramel and the other clever ladies above. If this Greg is genuinely interested in how you are doing, Ben can report to him. But keep this bloke at arm’s length. He did not treat you right. He doesn’t get to try and walk in and act like all gallant and caring now. Him being concerned is what you would hope any human being capable of basic emotions would be to learn someone is very ill. Make sure he respects Ben and the fact that Ben cares about every part of you, emotional and physical and has proved himself worthy of you.

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Firstly,
I’m sorry to read you have serious health issues right now

Secondly
I’m sure you’ve read enough of my background in blogs to guess my response?

Thirdly
Your health is your main priority.
Please message me anytime if you feel the need to do so

Swirly xx

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I agree with the other comments. Don’t give him any time or attention. He wasn’t there for you in the past when he needed you.
I had a very similar experience. I couldn’t get past being let down when I needed him the most.

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I agree with the other comments. Don’t give him any time or attention. He wasn’t there for you in the past when ‘you needed him.’
I had a very similar experience. I couldn’t get past being let down when I needed him the most.

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