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A Raspberry Ripples Revelation

When I saw the theme for this week was EPIPHANY, my mind began to wonder to occasions in my life when I had a sudden realization – things clicked in my mind – and I changed in a significant way. those lightbulb moments are pivotal in steering the course of your life.

To share these would likely cost me a lot of emotional effort, and I have to admit I am wiped out by my meecrowahnvey sessions.. So instead, I am going to write about an epiphany I had when it came to me writing.

I WANT TO KEEP MY INTEGRITY AND BE AUTHENTIC TO ME

There was a stage when I was writing to please others. I noticed the more saucy I made a story, the more positive comments it received. Sometimes I had written a story that I hated, but because it was more explicit it seemed to be more popular.

Eventually I realized I did not want to write just to give strangers kinky kicks. I wanted to write about romantic dreamy love and purposeful loyal love. That’s what I want to write about, that’s what I want to read about, that’s what I want in my own life.

I love sex and sensuality and eroticism – but I want to write about it my way….to me it’s something beautiful, something I am thankful for, something that is a big part of the deeply meaningful relationship I am in.

So, I am just going to be me!

17 replies on “A Raspberry Ripples Revelation”

We all make the same mistake, Jenna, get totally hung up on comments and forget why we started writing… and most of us return to writing for ourselves, and are much happier because of it! So yes, just be you 🙂
~ Marie xox

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And you know Marie…sometimes it crosses my mind that some of the scary people who have been in the news lately, like the hospital porter or the police man who committed horrific crimes…I would hate to write content that feeds someones mind to do things that are so far removed from love.

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I get what you say, Jenna, but we are not responsible for the actions of others… not in love, and not in hate either. But always stay close to yourself, and write what makes you happy 🙂

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Hello there, I was not sure what to write, but I thought something was better than nothing, so I am going to say something.
You have been amazing all the way through this, and everyone who has met you has been struck by your loveliness. So, they are all going to be rooting for you. I am rooting for you.
I don’t know what to say, except that everyone wants you to know how much they feel for you.

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We all write to be read Jenna and more so when writing publicly – if we wrote purely for ourselves we wouldn’t need a blog open to the world we could perform the craft in a journal for our eyes only.

When people author books, they write about something close to them they have a passion for and they know others will enjoy, so they write for their readership as well as for themselves.

We write to be read, we write for ourselves, we write for others like us.

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How did you recognise the change and what triggered it do you think? I remember when you first started here and the conversation we had about your ideology concerning your erotica and over the last perhaps 8 months l have seen your style and stance change to such a degree that at times you appear a very different writer to the writer l first spoke with.

Sometimes you write as jenna, other times not – so it is quite interesting to see howand when you first noticed the distinct and significant shift in your identity regarding your written word 🙂

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I have changed. I think we are always growing and learning and changing. But perhaps the past year or so I changed more than ever.

When I started writing erotica, Ben had been away for many weeks, and frankly I was missing sex a lot. I think I always knew what I enjoyed, but over time bloggers started reading my work and I would read theirs and some of it shocked me. It actually harmed me Rory.

I still do not understand the bloggers who enjoy and celebrate looking at pictures of injuries inflicted on their lover. I don’t understand it. But it was harmful for me. When I was a youngster I used self-harm when I was overwhelmed. I had a terrible episode earlier this year when Ben was away. He removed all the bloggers from my Reader who were exhibiting pictures of injuries given in BDSM.

I have appreciated the support and love of Ben and friends so much Rory. I love sex, but I love love more. I love romance. I love loyalty. I love deeply caring about someone else’s welfare.

When Ben was away for so long at the start of the Pandemic, what dominated my mind was how much I was missing sex. But actually, Ben is a stabilizing force in my life. He comforts me, he strengthens me, he inspires me.

These past few months have been particularly challenging physically, and yet Ben’s loyal love, caring nature, romantic outlook just deepen and deepen.

Sex is great. But I think I have grown in appreciation for something much more precious, much more worth celebrating and writing about.

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I think Jenna, that writing about sex/erotica is quite a short lived excursion. I was writing erotica in my mid twenties and early thirties, then later twenties l was writing more along the lines of bawdy erotic poetry … but as you age, you realise that your mind starts to view that literature differently – most assuredly as a male writing on this subject to you now. These days l think erotica is geared more towards the act of pornography and so some writers are more influenced by that kind of media cultural fixation rather than the act of a good shag, great sex, loving sex – they tend to think audiences want to read more hard core and whilst there has always been a market for sadomasochism whereas back in the 90’s it was more of a kinked fetish, now seemingly new writers think it’s the norm? Why, is quite beyond me. It’s not my cup of tea, l like to or rather l liked to read racy sex erotic as a stimulant, but nothing more aggressive than a bit of paddling and spanking and so on …… but not the gratuitous rough and tumble many now pen.

I have never understood the need to inflict pain to any of my lovers and yet l met women during my years as an escort that wanted pain because they thought that meant love – l advised them to think more of themselves and look for someone else for the night if that was their passion.

Whilst l couldn’t and could never sit down and write specifically about ‘love’, although l would pen ‘poems’, l couldn’t do that now as l am dreadfully cynical to the loving relationship itself and whilst l recognise love as love and sex as sex and relationship as more than a relationship, but a friendship – l find it tiresome to write of the emotion itself.

However, in many ways your response here ages you to a certain degree, whereas you are in the age now of appreciation of a deeper love or lean more towards the romantic loving side more than the sexual side, and you briefly are starting to journey into the true depths of relationships such as friendship and loyalty etc [l appreciate this has always meant more to you] but you are no longer writing for a quick fix and in the next ten years or so , you’ll start writing about the true value of friendship within the relationship, once the thrill and spill of sex is not present, the love has natured and matured and finally, appreciation of true friendship is the very essence of the long term relationship.

I can’t write like that anymore – l don’t always believe in it – l still miss sex dreadfully, l have always had a high libido, but l don’t act on it to the degree that some might, l am more moderate and cautious and of course, we are no longer living in the 60s, 70’s or even 80s when free loving was a norm – now we live in a very different world where one apparently has to romance first before bed hopping is permitted, which l see as kind of dull and boring and also, l am soooo not wanting a long term relationship again, a quickie here and there would be fine, but nothing so draining as a full time relationship.

It’s good that you now know where and how and for who you wish to write for Jenna 🙂

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One of the reasons I enjoy your writing is your restraint which leads to much more sensuality in your writing. Keep doing what you do, please.

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