While I Was Sleeping #6

To help me preserve my emotional health while my physical health is failing, Ben asked me to spend time…

…thinking about all of the things that make me smile, make me happy. He recommended trying to think of things I can enjoy now, even though I am ill, but also things that have added meaning and joy to my life in the past, and things I can daydream about being able to enjoy again in the future.


Today, I am going to talk about something that has brought me calm and stability during several difficult months.

My Hope For The Future

Beliefs can be very personal. But when you are faced with the prospect of your life being cut short by an illness, you start to want to cement everything you have ever pondered or reasoned over in your mind and have a grasp of something clear, something solid, something real.

Ben and I have had some very deep and meaningful conversations. I have also been able to speak openly with some very close friends of mine who don’t get too emotional about my prognosis.

All my hopes for the future are not so much about me, but more about what I love and who I love. It is my deepest, dearest hope that this stunning planet will be cared for as it should be and that the entire globe will be able to thrive and exult like paradise. That is my most sacred dream. Of course I would love to see it. But it brings me enormous to peace to hold a conviction that my hope for the earth is a true and sure one. I don’t believe anything in the entire universe will prevent this all parts of this planet from becoming the beautiful home it is supposed to be.

Just as dear to me is the hope that everyone I love will be able to thrive, and enjoy good health and happiness to the full. I long for them to live in peace and safety, to have deep purpose and satisfaction, to experience joy and love. I want that for Ben, I want it for all those whom I love so much. I am so grateful I have been blessed with their friendship and kindness. It means so much to me to imagine them thriving and living life to the full. Of course, I would love to be reunited with all those I love. But at this time, all I need to know is that the people I care about will be protected and blessed. I just really need to be sure of that. It’s as if all my cares and all my concerns about those that mean the most to me, I am having to hand them over to someone immensely powerful. They are in His care.

Physically, I am feeling so pathetically weak…but my hopes for the future have never been stronger.

7 replies on “While I Was Sleeping #6”

The true meaning of altruism is to give of yourself completely with no expectation of return and to be at peace with the gift you have given. In the receiving of the peace you feel, the 100% altruism is reduced to 99%. It is the best that any of us could hope for. This post is the most altruistic wish I have ever come across. You really are the most beautiful person Jenna, inside and out. I truly hope that your vision for the future of those you love and this earth comes to fruition. 💎💖


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