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PERSONAL

Your Catch

I was so young and so thin – I am not sure what you saw in me. I was swept up in every charm you were imbued with. So naive, so impressionable, so trusting – was I. Were you tempted by the vulnerability in my inexperience and immaturity? Was it really such a conquest to lure and enchant a young woman who was feeling so lonely small in such an oppressive city?

Did you exult in your catch after stalking your prey? There was hardly a pursuit, the hunt was surely dull – you outwitted me before I knew I was in grave danger. You knew the words to say, the moves to make, and the strings to pull. You knew exactly where to touch a woman so that she quivered and trembled in your arms. You played a game, strategizing with guilt and shame, dependence and secrecy, comfort and lies. Slowly you would mold and corrupt your gullible slender fille.

My face still purples when I recall my craving for your kiss, for those lips to nudge against mine and for your tongue to lap against my own. How I hungered for those passionate embraces, the greedy meshing of our mouths, the sensual caressing. How you stirred me, lit a flame that devoured, chained me to innate desires I was unable to fathom.

You turned me from a cheerful sweetheart full of lively energy to an intensely erotic creature consumed by lust and remorse. You manipulated the longing you had nurtured within me, until I submitted to your every whim and wish. You humbled me over and over, lowering me to the grime and filth of the depraved. Am I a trophy in your display cabinet? Do you tell your drinking friends how a woman half your age became your favourite amusement, your little game, your secret toy?

The memory is a blackened stain on a conscience that finds ways to provoke and torment the deep wounds you inflicted. I am taunted by horror that I had completely lost myself in blind adoration of you. You perhaps have no comprehension of the depth of self-hatred when I finally climbed out of that pit, broke apart the bars of that cage and found my wings were so misshaped and broken that I could never take flight again.

The recovery was slow and painful. Only unselfish love and pure affection helped me to revive and breathe on my own again. Every time the recollection of you invades me like a sinister nightmare, my power drains and I am in as dangerous a place as I ever was. You just cannot imagine how much self-loathing and despair still boils at the reminder of the seduction with which you captured me.

I found real love and with it came freedom.

So leave me in peace.

2 replies on “Your Catch”

You captured the emotional trauma perfectly. It transfers to the reader the real pain that was felt and still echoes. Beautifully written.
Happy Christmas darling Miss Pink, I hope you and Ben have the best time possible. 💖💖💖💎

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